Swivel, Raze and Crash

This darkness
overwhelms,
strengthens,
feeds on hopelessness,
grips,
every inch of feeling,
destroys it.
Until all that is left,
is nothing.
It has confiscated
my smile, my joy, you.
Left me black.
Left me blind.
Longing for a glimmer,
a speck.
Anything but nothing.
I find just that.
Or is it an illusion?
I can't tell
fear from hope.
There are tears.
Am I happy?
Is this sorrow?
Regret?
It's all the same.
I am numb now.
Is there pain buried
beyond this?
Do I want to know?
I let this darkness consume me.
Live in me,
die with me.
So I can be
not alive,
but there.